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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Henderson

The Healing Power of Love: Jeanell Greene's Story of Redemption


Jeanell Green's Story
Story of Redemption

In the realm of relationships, there are few who understand the intricacies and complexities as deeply as Jeanell Greene. A passionate relationship coach and speaker, Jeanell's journey through love, forgiveness, and self-discovery serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration for those navigating their own relationship challenges.


 

From her early years as a first-generation Canadian with a Filipino background, Jeanell's childhood was filled with joyous moments surrounded by family and love. However, at the tender age of nine, her world was shaken when her parents' marriage was shattered by infidelity and abandonment. This pivotal moment planted seeds of insecurity and mistrust within young Jeanell, shaping her views on love and relationships for years to come.

 

As she grew older and ventured into adulthood, Jeanell found herself caught in a cycle of tumultuous relationships marked by lies, abuse, and infidelity. It wasn't until she faced her own divorce that she realized the patterns repeating in her life were rooted in her unresolved childhood wounds. Determined to break free from this cycle, Jeanell embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

 

With unwavering determination, Jeanell delved into the depths of her past, confronting the pain and trauma that had long been buried within her psyche. Through introspection and self-reflection, she unearthed the limiting beliefs and negative patterns that had been holding her back from experiencing true love and happiness.

 

One of the most profound lessons Jeanell learned on her journey was the power of forgiveness — not only forgiving others but also forgiving herself. She came to understand that forgiveness is not about condoning the actions of others but releasing oneself from the burden of resentment and anger. By embracing forgiveness, Jeanell was able to let go of the past and open herself up to new possibilities.

 

In her quest for healing and personal growth, Jeanell discovered a newfound sense of purpose and passion. She realized that her experiences, both painful and transformative, had equipped her with valuable insights and wisdom that she could use to help others on their own journey to love and forgiveness.

 

With a deep understanding of the human psyche and relationships, Jeanell embarked on a mission to guide individuals and couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Through her coaching practice and workshops, she empowers her clients to cultivate self-love, improve communication, and build strong foundations for lasting relationships.

 

One of the cornerstones of Jeanell's approach to relationships is the importance of being friends first. She emphasizes the value of building trust, mutual respect, and genuine connection before diving into romantic involvement. By nurturing a strong friendship, couples can weather the storms of life with greater resilience and understanding.

 

Jeanell also emphasizes the significance of continuous communication and vulnerability in maintaining a thriving relationship. By creating a safe space for open dialogue and expressing genuine emotions, couples can deepen their connection and foster intimacy on a profound level.

 

Today, Jeanell Greene stands as a testament to the transformative power of love and forgiveness. Through her own journey of healing and growth, she has emerged as a beacon of hope and inspiration for countless individuals seeking guidance in their own relationships. With her compassionate guidance and unwavering support, Jeanell continues to empower others to embrace love, cultivate forgiveness, and create the fulfilling relationships they deserve.

 

In the words of Jeanell Greene, "We are all love. Anything that is not of love is not us. By embracing forgiveness and compassion for ourselves and others, we can experience greater joy, peace, and connection in our lives."




 Transcript of Episode:

Michelle Henderson :

I am thrilled to infuse your day with inspiration and hope. In this episode, I have the incredible Jeanell  Greene, a passionate, no nonsense relationship coach and a speaker. Jeanell  holds this certified life and relationship coach title guiding both individuals and couples toward power, freedom, and joy with a personal journey of love and forgiveness stemming from her parents' difficult past. She shares her transformative experiences from a childhood marked by infidelity and reconciliation to her own divorce. She unveils her path of healing, health, discovery and creating the life of her dreams. Get ready for profound insights on mindset, integrity, love, and entrepreneurship, and the extraordinary tells that shape Jeanell 's inspiring journey. So let's go ahead and invite the incredible Jeanell  Greene on. Hello. Hello. How are you?


Jeanell Greene:

Doing well, Michelle. That was such a great intro. Thank you. Well, you are more than welcome.


Michelle Henderson:

Oh, you're welcome. And I was so excited to reach your profile because I feel like I know you because you have gone through several experiences that I had and I thought with what my clients always ask about are about relationships, that's usually the number one category because we're all social beavers, plus the fact I was actually a child of divorced parents as well. And so you pulled me in with your bio because you as well, but I want to hear about your experience and then I'll kind of dab into mine as well. But we're here for you. So tell us about your experience that really shaped your life, and I think it really brought you some good lessons along the way.


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah, so I'm 46. I am first generation Canadian. I have a Filipino background. My childhood was great. I had really great role models. I had two parents who were joyous Filipinos. We love to party, we love to sing, we love to dance, we love to eat. And that was really, my childhood was surrounded by family and people who we considered a family. And then at nine something happened. And what happened was, I remember sitting on my bed and my mom calling us out to us to come into the living room and there was my mom, my dad, and a set of luggage. And my mom turns to us and says, kids, your dad is leaving. He doesn't love us anymore. And what you don't know is that my dad had an affair with my mom's best friend who lived in our basement, got her pregnant, and decided he was going to leave.

I think my mom made him decide whether he was staying or going. He was kind of doing this back and forth thing and he decided that he was going to go and be with them. And so I remember that moment watching my dad go down the stairs and in my little nine-year-old mind deciding a, I'm unlovable. I was daddy's girl. So if he isn't even going to stay for me, he must not love me. Number two, I can't trust men because what they're going to leave. And so fast forward here I am in my divorce and trying to figure out where did this go wrong and why does this always happen to me? Why were every relationship I was getting into, they were either non-committal, they were liars, abusers, cheaters. That was my track record, and I just got really responsible for that. I'm like, there's something about me that I need to address because this isn't a coincidence.

And so that's when I started to do the work. And in that moment, I was really upset with my angry furious with my ex-husband for basically lying to me about the life that he wanted for us, but he actually didn't want for us. And I felt duped. And as a Catholic, divorce is not a thing. And here I was like, oh crap, I'm in the situation that I apparently can't get out of. And so it took a lot of work for me to first of all get honest with myself about my own childhood wounds that were contributing to this relationship, and finally being able to forgive myself and also forgive my ex-husband for what had happened, but also healing all the stuff in my childhood and how that was showing, healing it so that I didn't continue to show up in my life because I knew that I wanted to eventually get into another relationship, but I knew that if I didn't heal this, that it was going to follow me forward.

And so that was kind of the beginning of my self-growth transformational journey. And at that time too, I remember being spiritually, spiritually touched where I knew that my life was supposed to be something greater. I was working in corporate, I was making six figures. I was traveling the world. I had just won a free trip to Bermuda. I was about to go on a free trip to Rome for being the top of the top of the pack, and yet I was miserable. And so around 40 years old, I decided that I was the second half of my life was going to be for me and nobody else. And so I decided to build a business based on love, based on who I am, the gifts that God has given me in my life and the experiences and heartbreak that I've been through. And I really decided that my mission is to bring love and healing to the world for people who are going through the same spaces that I went through that are so lonely, so dark, and you feel like so helpless. And now I get to build this beautiful business where I get to love up on people and show them that first of all, they are worthy and that anything is possible for their lives when they really work on themselves and heal whatever there is to heal and take responsibility for whatever to take responsibility for.


Michelle Henderson :

Absolutely. And I absolutely love your story in saying that you had to forgive your ex-husband, and did you have to also forgive your dad and forgive yourself?


Jeanell Greene:

Yes.


Michelle Henderson :

Yes,


Jeanell Greene:

A hundred percent. And this is really great, Michelle, because a lot of people think forgiveness is about other people and they're like, okay, who do I need to forgive out there? But really the work starts with, okay, what do I need to forgive myself for? Can I forgive that 9-year-old for thinking that way? And it was all subconscious. It wasn't like I said it out loud, but looking back, standing where I am, I saw that. I saw the shift. There's always a moment in our childhood, this is where trauma derives from. There's a moment in our childhood where everything is amazing. The world is glorious and beautiful and wonder, and then something happens. And now we go from life is safe or the world is safe to now the world or people are dangerous and I'm all alone. And then until we heal that address that that continues to follow us our entire life.


Michelle Henderson :

And I so agree. And it's so interesting because I was about, I want to say maybe closer to 10 or 11, but my brother and I didn't even know that my parents were fighting. They never fought in front of us. And it was the same situation where my father cheated on my mom, and I do remember, and it's clear as day whenever he left and she was opening the door for him to go, and my brother and I are going, what is happening? And I think it is something to protect ourselves. I think that's one reason why you get angry at somebody else because you're trying to protect yourself. You're trying to put that barriers around you. But I totally agree that we need to heal that so that we can have healthy relationships.


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah. The problem, sorry, go ahead.


Michelle Henderson :

No, you go. Go.


Jeanell Greene:

I was going to say, the problem is that oftentimes we don't even see it. We need someone else to kind of go, did you notice you do this thing? Right. And to your point, Michelle, you said it so perfectly. It's like it's all survival. That's all of our coping mechanisms, the way we react when we talk about we're unable to communicate because our partner gets triggered, my partner shuts down our partner, it's all survival.


Michelle Henderson :

Yeah. April and yes, absolutely,


Jeanell Greene:

Right. And so I think we need to make the unconscious conscious and if we live a life where we're so busy doing things for everyone else, we can't even stop and be like, okay, what's going on with me right now? Why do I feel this way? And so we go through life almost like with a broken leg, and we don't even stop to check it out and be like, Hey, maybe I need to stop and let this leg heal. We just keep going. We're trying to prove we're trying to be good enough. We're trying not, right? We're doing all these things rather than just really getting who we are, first of all is enough. And secondly, that we are all works in progress. And that it doesn't mean anything just because you realize you have trauma and it's nothing to blame or shame yourself. We really need to just own that. But I think Michelle, we have been taught to not look that way, to not focus on self-love to not forgive ourselves. I know I wasn't, don't know about you,


Michelle Henderson :

Right? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And I really, it's almost when I grew up almost like think, you know what? I know it's not a blessing. I don't want to say it was a blessing in disguise, but I learned so much from it and my life changed so much. And to me it was for the better. Even though I had the struggles and I had to learn along the way. I look back now and I'm able to really embrace it where I couldn't before. I had to grow up and forgive my dad and know that you know what? We're people, we're doing the best that we can do, and I need to really carry on. And for me, I really need to know what a healthy relationship looks like. So can you tell us what I mean? How can people stay together for 50 years? What makes a good relationship?


Jeanell Greene:

Well, can I talk about my husband?


Michelle Henderson :

Absolutely.


Jeanell Greene:

My husband is amazing. One of the really great benefits that we had in our relationship, what really worked for us is number one, we both had really great role models. His parents are still together now. His dad just passed away this year. But we had really great role models to see what does partnership look like? What does communication look like? How do you fight? And still make sure that respect and love is at the forefront of that. And then secondly, we had a really great friendship. My husband and I were friends for about three years. We didn't even know each other. We actually used to work together. He lived about 5,000 miles away from me on the other side of the country. And we just kind of grew in our friendship. And so there was no agenda. It was just like he was there for me and supporting me. And so when our relationship started to transition, that trust was already there. I didn't have to worry about him being a weirdo or you know what I mean? Some guy was,


Michelle Henderson :

Oh, I totally understand. Yes.


Jeanell Greene:

And so we got to move quite quickly in our relationship. But I think what's so beautiful about our marriage is that we first of all show up. We never get bored. Quality time is there. We put away our phones, we check in with each other. We say, Hey, how are you doing? How are you feeling these days? How's work? Is there anything that you would like to see from me? How can I support you? What can I do to make you feel more loved? How do you think our relationship's doing? Right now? We have these constant check-ins because we care so much. It's like that plant that you want to water. We know each other's love languages to a T. And one of the things that I teach my clients in relationships is you have to have strategies and frameworks to deal with the hard stuff. So for example, so for me and my husband, when we used to argue and we don't anymore, but when we used to argue, I'm the kind of person that I need a timeout, I need five minutes to go away and collect myself and just come down from my crazy brain, my husband's the one who wants to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.

And so I would say to him, honey, this isn't going anywhere. I'm getting really upset. And if you don't stop me, I'm going to say something that I don't mean and I need to just give me my space. But he wouldn't do that. And then of course the cat would jump out of the bag and scratch his face, then he'd get upset. But we talked about it and I said to him, this is really important for you to give you my space. And he admitted to me, he goes, babe, the reason I don't give you your space and I chase you is I'm scared that if you leave even for five minutes, that you're not going to come back. He was so vulnerable with me and honest with me about what his deepest fear was. And so I had the opportunity to say, honey, I promise you I will never leave.

I just need my time so that I can come back to this conversation with a clear mind. And sometimes that five minutes when I come back, I say, Hey, babe, you know what? This is a really dumb argument. Can we just agree to disagree and just move on and be happy? And he's like, yes, please. And then we just agree and we move on because not every argument has to go on for two, three hours when it's about the dishwasher or something. That just is so inconsequential. I think being vulnerable with each other is so important to open our hearts and admit the parts of us that we don't love. Because when we can be vulnerable with others, it allows others to be vulnerable back to us. But when we're trying to be all strong and you can't hurt me and kind of taking this more, I guess, masculine stance about it, then the other person has no choice but to try to come up to that. And so you start almost being in a competition about who can build the highest wall.

And then we wonder why we're disconnected. We wonder why we feel lonely. We wonder why we make up stories that were not appreciated, but they're just stories that we make up. Because what's important in maintaining a relationship is missing. And because we live such crazy lives and we actually have to consciously stop, turn our phone off, stop check in with our partner, it's so easy to just forget about it. You got kids, you got chores, you got work, you got all this other stuff going on. It's so easy to just let that slide. But at the end of the day, if family is what is most important to you, if love and connection is most important, that has to be your number one priority always.


Michelle Henderson :

And I absolutely love that. I just want to say, I love what you said that being friends first is so important. I met someone the other day that she was just saying, Michelle, I keep having a relationship after relationship where they're not really honoring me, not really treating me. And she said, I wanted to stop. And so what do you tell somebody they get in that situation when they go, you know what? I have a pattern here that I cannot break and I can't find a man that treats me the way I want to be treated.


Jeanell Greene:

And yet they keep attracting the wrong man. Yes,

Yes. And so this reminds me of my own life where being Filipino, you're typically married by the time you're 16, 18 years old. And so there was always this need or rush for me to be in a relationship. Like many women, I didn't want to be alone. I felt like being alone meant I was unattractive. Nobody wanted me. I was a loser. And so I always felt anxious being alone and being alone with my own thoughts. And I think we actually need to lean into that uncomfortableness because what we tend to do is we're looking for the perfect partner, but we're putting zero attention. How do we become the perfect partner? So therefore we attract that versus putting the onus on people out there and saying, you guys need to be my perfect partner. No, it actually happens on both sides. And you can't do that unless you love yourself and you know your values when you don't know who you are and your values. This is where people don't know how to put up boundaries.


Michelle Henderson :

And I love that, and I absolutely love that because some people think they need to jump from one relationship to another. And sometimes you just need to cool it and just get to know yourself because you change so much through relationship to relationship. Before we go on to the next thing, is there anything that we did not to discuss that you want to make sure you want to get a pinpoint in there or a statement in there?


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah, I just want to quickly address family is we need to deal with our own stuff. Because if we say, okay, this relationship doesn't work, and we decide that going onto a new relationship is the best idea, fine. However, if you don't deal with the stuff, it is going to follow you into the next relationship, I guarantee you. And people think that. I actually had someone get upset with me when I told them that self-love was required to have a great relationship. He like, but what does self-love have anything to do? I said, well, if you don't love yourself, how can you allow someone else to love you? And how can you love someone else when you don't even know what love is for yourself? How can you give something that you don't have?

And I think people put, so again, so much emphasis on he has to be like this. He has to look like this. He has to be, well, how about you? Even if you found that person, are you the kind of partner that ideal person would actually want to be with? And this is why self-love is so important because when we love ourselves, the energy we put out is completely different. But if we're looking for the world to fill the gap in our heart, it's never going to be satiated because the only person that can give us that validation is ourself. And that was, for me, a really hard one. I was sexually abused when I was a child, and the stories that I made up from that happening, and also my dad leaving had me really feel so unworthy and dirty and weak that people felt that they could take advantage of me and that was okay.

And so I had to do a lot of inner work there to be able to attract the kind of man that I now have who is my greatest cheerleader. And we are playmates through and through. We are both musicians. So I think having some sort of compatibility as far as a hobby that you guys both enjoy is really important. So my husband is a professional musician. I'm a singer. I play the piano. So we have a music room, we record, we sing at church, we live stream at church. And so we are involved in each other's playtime, not just love time. And so we just really get to enjoy being together and laughing and playing and growing. So we're talking about doing salsa lessons, we're talking about doing paint night. We're going to that. There's this thing here in Vancouver where it's like they put up thousands of candles in a room and then they bring in these, the string orchestra and they play Christmas music. It's super romantic. So we put in the effort every single day. And the one thing I never question with my husband is that I am his number one priority. I never question it how he shows up to me every single day.


Michelle Henderson :

So what is his first name?


Jeanell Greene:

Michael.


Michelle Henderson :

Michael, okay. So when you look at Michael, describe to us what you feel, what kind of person Michael is.


Jeanell Greene:

He is sweet, thoughtful, chivalrous, generous, wholesome, responsible, humble, intuitive. Oh, sexy.


Michelle Henderson :

Yeah, we can't leave that out. Sexy.


Jeanell Greene:

And he has my back. There's been some things, some really dark times that I feel like I've brought us down, especially early in my business when my business was very up and down and he just was like, babe, you could never disappoint me. Never Ever. And I just needed to hear that even if I did fail, that he wouldn't look at me any less.


Jeanell Greene:

Here we're 17 years later feeling like we're still in the honeymoon stage. We talk about travel, we talk about where we want to live in 10 years. We dream together, we laugh. And I'm just so excited about getting old with this person because he just shows up every day, shows a hundred percent. And he shows me such appreciation. And he's actually been my greatest teacher. He's really shown me what forgiveness and taking responsibility looks like. And yeah, he's amazing. He's God's gift to me for sure. But I created, created him. I was very intentional. I'm like, after I left my divorce, I am like, this is the man I want to attract. And I wrote it down on a piece of paper. This is who he is. He's a musician, he's got a great family. He's Catholic. He goes to church. He's very polite. My mom loves him. He's so polite and so chivalrous. So he's a service guy. He's the one who says, can I get you a tea? He loves to clean my house. He loves to cook, he loves to make me happy.


Michelle Henderson :

I was going to say, you know what? You light up just a little bit whenever you talk about him just


Jeanell Greene:

A little bit.


Michelle Henderson :

Okay.


Jeanell Greene:

I tell him, I say, baby, you are amazing. You are the best husband I could ever. I acknowledge the crap out of him. So he


Michelle Henderson :

Knows. And I think that's important as well, is to acknowledge. Because sometimes when you get so mad at 'em and those little pet peeves happen and you're just going, I can't stand it anymore. Look at the good things that they bring to your life and keep it that way. And it really does. It changes the way that you think. And you're going, okay, that's petty stuff. Or Are you ready for the wheel?


Jeanell Greene:

Sure.


Michelle Henderson :

Alright, let's bring it on. Alright, here we go. Little music you never know out.


Jeanell Greene:

Oh, interesting.


Michelle Henderson :

So because it is kind of that day and time when I made this will, believing in aliens. I mean, it was a thing, but not like it is now. So yeah. So do you believe in aliens?


Jeanell Greene:

I don't know. I am actually watching a Netflix show all about this. Yes. I dunno if you've seen it. It's really fascinating.


Michelle Henderson :

Yes.


Jeanell Greene:

I think it would be ignorant to think that we're, and ignorant and arrogant to think that we're the only life form in the whole galaxy. And I can get why we don't want to admit it, because it would just unleash absolute chaos in the world, such dominant beings. To know that someone could come and just take over our plan is freaky.


Michelle Henderson :

I was going to ask you, when you watch that Netflix show, how do you feel about it whenever eye eyewitnesses are talking about what they've seen? Does that scare you or does it make you more interested?


Jeanell Greene:

I'm more interested. The one that I just watched was the one in Zimbabwe with the 60 children.


Michelle Henderson :

Oh yeah. Okay. I know, exactly.


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah. And just looking at their faces and looking at the fear in their eyes, I'm like, why would someone want to make this up? This doesn't sound like a fun thing.


Michelle Henderson :

They all, I think, accounted a little bit different, but about the same thing we all do as eyewitnesses. Everything is going to be a little bit different. Okay. So well, I guess that really wasn't the last question. This is though. So what inspiration statement do you have to just tell anybody about anything to inspire them? I know that inspiration is different for everybody.



Jeanell Greene:

Yeah. In the realm of love, here's what I want to say. We are all love all of us. And anything that is not of love is not us. And so when we look at our partner, when we look at the people in the world, consider that we are all loving beings and then there's all this crap on top of it. But at the core of us to remember that we're all the same. We all bleed, we all hurt, we all love, we all want to belong. We all want to feel accepted and appreciated. We're not that different. And when we can remember that and have compassion for each other and the ways that we have learned to survive in this world, even if it's not great, I think we can have more forgiveness and compassion for each other and more connection and joy in life when we can stop making each other wrong. More importantly, stop making ourselves wrong for what the cards that life has given us. Especially when we have parents that we're like, I got the wrong parents. Why did you give, Lord, why did you give me these parents? Right. I think just bringing perspective and compassion is really, really important. And people say happiness and peace is what they want. And yet so few of us actually experience that. Why? Because we forget that forgiveness is a piece of that.


Michelle Henderson :

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Love that. Now, can you tell us a little bit about your business, what you offer, and also where they can reach you?


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah. I work with couples. I work with individuals on anything relationship, whether it's the relationship with themself or relationship with each other. And what's different is I'm not a therapist. I'm really about the strategy, about the mindset, about the skillset on how do we communicate in a way that invokes a yes. How do we enroll our partner to do things and actually want to do things instead of us nagging them? That's the stuff I love. And creating goals as a couple are really important. I can be found@ JeanellGreene.com or@ saveourmarriage.ca. And if you're in a relationship, I have a free gift on my website. And it's the five ways to improve your communication with your partner. And it is a game changer. And I also have a workshop coming up around forgiveness probably in the next months. So if they sign up for my newsletter, they will get notified when that's going to be launching.


Michelle Henderson :

Awesome. Awesome. Well, I want to thank you so much for coming on because again, that's the number one guidance that a lot of my clients need is relationships. And so I think just talking about it, and maybe it will kind of give them an idea, an inspiration, because a lot of times we think, oh, relationships are going to be the princess and the prince and it's going to be beautiful and it's a lot of work instead.


Jeanell Greene:

Yeah, it's a lot of work. And you can have that perfect princess princess life. It just takes a lot of work. People think it just naturally happens out of the box, and maybe it does for a couple months in a year, but after a while your humanity kicks in and it's like, oh, he leaves his socks on the floor. Okay, how am I going to deal with this? But I think the last thing I want to say is pick your battles.


Michelle Henderson :

Oh yeah. Love it.


Jeanell Greene:

And don't treat your partner like a child.


Michelle Henderson :

Yes. And a best friend. So I hope that you enjoyed this episode, and if you did, please share it with somebody that really needs to hear this message. Alright everybody, thank you for listening and I will see you next week.

 

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